Modern Descartes Trailer- 1st Draft

Our First Draft:



To know what to improve our group gave a response form to our class and teacher to fill out, so that we will be able to understand the perspective of others when viewing our trailer and gain constructive criticism in order to create a successful trailer.


Here is an example of one of the response form that we received back:

Our response to student feedback:

• Emily stated that the trailer seemed incomplete. This is true due to that when we were filming we were using someones iPhone and as a result we were not able to get the footage from the phone and edit it before the deadline for the first draft. To improve in our second draft we will makesure that the footage is complete.
• Another criticism that we received is that our trailer has no title or date of release. This is very important as the audience wont know the name or when the movie is coming out which is bad marketing. The reason why we had not done this is because our group was not sure on the font and design that we should do for our trailer so we did a questionnaire to find out what other people thought. We did our first draft before we did the questionnaire. As a result we did not know what we wanted to do foe the title. However, our group does recognize that we should at least included the title.
• Emily stated that one thing that we could improve is the sound. The reason why our sound is irregular and not fluid is because many of the shots that we had filmed had a lot of background noise, so we had to mute the shot and dub sound over the shot. Our group has not completed the sound yet as we are still figuring out the sequence of shots and moving things around. Once this is completed we will start on the sound.
• On the response form Emily said that one thing that we can improve on is the fluidity of the shots as some scene cutty. I wanted to know more so I asked if she could stay back so i can ask some questions and she said that at the beginning of the trailer with the graveyard scene she thought that the shots were to fast and too sharp they were not fluid also she said because it is a sad moment we need to slow the pace down. To improve we will go over that specific part in the trailer and use some animation techniques in order to slow down the pace of the trailer.

Our response to teacher feedback:

• Our teacher had the same outlook as Emily on our trailer as she she said that the trailer was incomplete, there is not title, or release date. She also said that the sound was not good and that we need some voice overs to complete the trailer.
• Another criticism that we received is that in the shot were the protagonist is being chased we here someone speak but it is cut short. To improve on this our group is going to extend that particular shot so that we can hear everything that they are saying.
• Another thing that the teacher said that we need to improve on is our second identity. When on full screen we can see when the images are cut cropped correctly and as a result you can see a shadow. To improve this I will crop the images correctly so our film company identity does not give of a shadow.